Breaking Free from Food Prison: My Journey from Fear to Freedom

Breaking Free from Food Prison: My Journey from Fear to Freedom

I will never forget the moment my fear of food started. I had recently been diagnosed with breast cancer at the age of 42. I had no known genetic predisposition for cancer and no significant family history. I had always been a researcher, looking for answers to everything. I probably would have made a great FBI agent! This prompted me to enter the world of “Dr. Google” and it spiraled out of control. I was led to a book that became the “bible” for me on how to prevent a cancer recurrence. The central theme was that I had to become a strict vegan, the polar opposite of my preferred diet. My fear was irrational and not rooted in real science, but it still took control of my mind.

Food Prison

My fear of food was a manifestation of my need to be in control of anything I could to prevent a cancer recurrence. The fear was so profound and it started to impact my daily life, social interactions and ability to live a happy life. I grew up eating meat and potatoes and I constantly craved steak and burgers during my period of disordered eating. I was scared to even take a bite of animal food for fear it would trigger a recurrence. Occasionally, I would break my self-imposed rules and then guilt and shame would take over. Let’s just say, I was depressed and anxious all of the time. It was no way to live.

Breaking Free from Food Prison

Over time, my new extreme diet became unsustainable. Watching my friends and family eat all of my favorite foods was like teasing a dog with a bone. I knew, deep down, that there had to be another way to live a healthy lifestyle without going to extremes. I began slowly adding in the “forbidden” foods while simultaneously doing science based research on a healthy anti-cancer diet. This cultivated my interest in becoming a health coach and I enrolled at The Institute for Integrative Nutrition and became certified in 2019. The knowledge I gained has been instrumental in my growth as a cancer survivor and my ability to help others.

Embracing a Healthier Relationship with Food

This part of my journey has been a giant step towards strength and empowerment after cancer. I now have a positive relationship with food and thrive on a diet that is predominantly plant-based foods sprinkled with some of my favorites! By giving myself permission to enjoy ALL food in moderation, without feeling guilty, fosters a positive mindset that allows me to live my life with more joy and happiness.

In Conclusion

If you are someone who is struggling with food anxiety, it is vital that you utilize science based resources when making decisions about your diet and cancer risk. Food is something that brings joy to us in so many ways. It provides nourishment, fosters social connections and is the central part of celebrating milestones, religious practices and festivities. By denying yourself the pleasure of eating, you are also denying yourself living fully. It’s all about balance.

This article is not intended to replace consultation with or recommendations from trained medical professionals.